Clickbait I know.
(Serious matter apart, I don’t know if I have already put a sugar in my tea… Anyway, sugar will be needed ! Sip and let’s go.)
This topic is such a fucking mess and I just don’t understand why, why are we so damn complicated? I tried, like for real, to have a plan and a structure because I know this will be long, but let’s face it I’m never gonna make it *MCR*.
(I already had a first sugar.. )
Disclaimer : This is only my point of view, in no mean what I say is the holy truth. I’m open to discussion, I just want to make people think about some topics in life. I don’t want to be told that I’m “right” or wrong”, I want things to be discussed.
Feminism, “The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.” (Oxford Dictionary). But that’s not what I experienced. Let me explain. I’ve always been a literary and artsy person therefore I’ve always been with a lot of girls at school. Cliché hum? While being with all of those girls, a lot of them claimed themselves as “feminists”. I never understood what it meant until someone told me that it was a fight for “gender equality”. So I listened to those girls and tried to understand what they were truly fighting for. After hours and hours of talks, I finally made a point on what they were saying. “Women are strong, they’re brave and deserve more power than anyone else because of all they have been through”. First, I was quite happy with this idea. Living as a girl is quite hard sometimes. We often have been sexualised and belittled. It has taken years and years for women to obtain what we take for granted today. So it’s not wrong to say that women deserve more recognition. Then it hits me. I read my quote again and again before noticing, what I thought, was wrong with it. Do women need more power than men? The thing is that for a very long time, men always had more power than women, therefore human logic wants the roles to be reversed. Right… But if women have more power than men, we cannot call it equality anymore. It’s only years after these conversations that I realised that these women who claimed themselves feminists, weren’t at all what they thought they were. They were what’s called “feminazi” and this my dear friends, altered my judgment so much and still now I hate the word “feminism”. It has such a strong connotation for me. I don’t understand why it isn’t called “Sex Equality Movement” or something like that. I’m used to hang out with several boys on a regular basis and for what I saw, again this is my point of view, and in no way I claim that I am right, the issues that boys were confronted with weren’t very much talked about. Yes women have and still suffered from serious inequalities and I won’t belittle them. But in this shitty and unfair society (not always though) we live in, men are suffering from inequalities too.
Men. They are tall, strong, courageous, fearless and witty while being clever. So many clichés in one sentence. I never fully understood how big men struggles were before hanging out with guys. I won’t expose every problem here, just two, maybe three to illustrate my main argument. The first cliché I want to mention is school. We often talk about the fact that girls struggle to go in scientific classes while they “should stay in literary courses.” But on the other side, I can witness it for having studied in of those classes, it’s hard for men to go on artsy or literary classes. They have been taught that they have to follow a scientific cursus while being at school. This is not a huge thing, but without this gap between the reality and the ideal situation, things would be better. The second thing, which we do without noticing, is to put pressure on them, on their physic and ideology. “Men have to have six packs” “Real men don’t cry” or “They have to be tall” are such common sentences. Women are revolted by the idea of the perfect woman and how far it is from reality. But why does no one reacts on the “perfect” man stuff? Again, you will say that this is a human thing to do, but if we all start to take care to what we say, wouldn’t it be better for everyone ? Oh I’m not a saint ! This is quite hypocritical of me to say that, but now that I’m aware, I will try to be less judgmental.
And what’s the deal with men and crying? They are human. They have the right to cry when they feel the need to. Another typical girly quote is “My boyfriend has to protect me when there is danger”. Sure a man is biologically stronger than a women, but still. They fucking have feelings too, they are afraid sometimes, not all of them, not every time, but it’s a heavy responsibility to take care of someone’s life when you are insecure or afraid too. One last thing that I want to point out, maybe the most relevant for me is about clothing. There have been a huge trend, here I don’t speak of famous fashion shows but on the everyday style, where women wore men’s clothes. Snickers, pants, shirts and even tuxedos. I have to admit that I kinda love this trend because I think that men’s clothes are way more comfortable than ours. Personal opinion. But have you seen a lot of men in the streets wearing dresses or skirts? Lipstick or eye liner? If you do, I’m 98% sure you thought that it was weird. That’s one of the huge difference between us. This should not exist. I don’t say that every man in the world have to wear a skirt, but if some of them want to, they have to have the right to do it without being seen as “weirdos”.
In the situation we are currently living in, everyone is injured. Men, Women and all those in between. For human of the 21st century, we have such a lame spirit. We are making a fuss of trivial things like breastfeeding, or hair colour but when it comes to real serious matter, no one’s here! As long as there will be inequalities for both sexes, my faith in humanity will only be restored by people helping poor animals or cute otters. (I never have been serious for so long in my other articles..) As long as if a man comes into a police station to say that he has been raped and he will be laughed at, I will be angry. As long as if a girl is send home because her “naked” shoulder can be a distraction for men, I will be annoyed. Everyone should have the right to be dressed the way he or she wants and be safe. You could walk in the street in your underwear and be safe. But this leads to another topic which is linked, decency and the way to behave in society, because sadly, we don’t live alone in our own little world. Anyway, I won’t go on and on (like Celine Dion, never let go Jack ! ) because when I start on such a topic, I usually never end. I love debates, I love exchanging ideas with people who care and who are not upset on being contradicted. When you agree to learn a new point of view, that’s where it becomes interesting.
I don’t know if there’s a real point in this article, but if needed I will write more on certain aspects of the topic. I will leave you here with some things to think about (At least I hope so!). Spread love and nutella ! XO